Back to December
by pinkworlds
Summary: Everything seemed to be going perfectly fine between Freddie and Sam, until terror krept in her mind. Afraid to be loved by the one she loves. At the moment running away seemed like the best idea. Will she ever go back to him and will he forgive her?


**This is a story based on the song Back To December by Taylor Swift. Please enjoy(: **

Last day of school of high school, and forever. No more Mr. Howard or Mrs. Briggs, which was something amazing, for all three: Freddie, Sam and Carly. Senior year, prom night, it was all amazing, and then iCarly came. They had done their last web episode, forever. No more, since college is starting, they need to move on with life and go different ways.

Even tough a cretin one didn't, Freddie Benson, he wanted to be with his love. Sam Puckett, who was at the moment in next to her, in the passenger's seat. They were escaping for a couple of hours, since it's summer, they're going to the beach.

And this was one of those _beautiful times she watched him laughing from the passenger side _and smiling as they both joked with each other. His last year in high school, Freddie's mom had given him a convertible car for graduation, since she knew that her son was going to succeed.

Sam's hair was waving in the air as they drove fast, with her legs spread in front of her, almost on the door. She was barefoot, her sandals on the back with her bags, and her pink-toes nails showing. They were bracing hands, fingers tangled within each other, as she had her right hand over her stomach while Freddie used his left for the steering wheel and listening to the radio, as they sang to the beat and smiled.

Making small jokes of Freddie's bad tune in voice, even tough Sam was better, she never bragged about it. She never really sang in front of anyone, except when the song was on. She looked over at him, with her sunglasses, as he stared back with his own, and then back at the road. Laughing, he really couldn't sing, and it was cracking her up. Not in a bad way, but she thought it was really cute.

She fixed her white tank top and lowered her small shorts as she shifted tilting toward him smiling. She moved her hair out of her face and saw him sing, his lips copying the lyrics, and she smiled. He looked at her for a second, and then squeezed her hand, and she continued to smile. She laid her head on his arm, and watched the road. Still some miles left, and she was excited.

Going to beach, alone with Freddie, perfect. The both of them, she really liked him a lot. Maybe it wasn't love at the moment, but she really did have special feeling for him. He was the only that made her stomach flip with butterflies floating inside, and when they kissed, it just wasn't enough time.

A whole afternoon to have her boyfriend to herself, no Carly, Spencer, Ms. Benson... no one but them. She sighed happily and looked forward. This was going to be a great never-ending summer.

.

Sam sat in her room, with her knees up to her chest, and she shoved her head in them. Even tough she was alone; it was as if she was trying to hide her face. And then the tears were escaping her, and she didn't want to cry, she didn't want to let her emotions fall apart.

It's not like anyone could hear her, her mother wasn't home, and she wasn't going to be. Just like her dad, which she never met until that day. He suddenly decided to come home, thinking that he was welcomed in anytime? Who did he think he was? He wasn't anyone to them anymore, except the male person who helped her mother form her and Melanie, but he's not her dad.

And even tough she swore never to let her feelings fall if she ever saw him, she couldn't help but betray her promise. At that moment, she felt alone, and scared. Her mother had been gone for the last two days, probably spending the night with one of her boyfriends, and of course, Melanie wasn't there. She was having parties with her rich and fancy friends because she graduated with high scores.

So she saw him alone, no one there to defend her. It's not like she needed them, because Sam knew her rights, and was pretty strong, like her _male reproducer_. But even tough, after many years of not seeing him, it hurt her. It hurt that he only came home because after all this time of sleeping with younger women, he needed money, and thought that just because he asked for some he was going to receive some.

She lost it, and at that moment she let all break inside of her. She cried, loud, groaning and hitting her lap as if begging herself to stop. He only said that he missed her and Melanie, and that he wanted to come home. He didn't even know that Melanie was living miles away, what else did he not know? Everything.

She buried her head and let it out, screaming to herself and her eyes shut. Literally hurting too much, and they were red. Her toes crumbling as the pain stoke her, because even tough it seemed like no big deal, she did feel defenseless. She just really wanted to cry, she really wanted to drown the world with her tears.

But she also didn't want to feel alone, and at that moment she looked straight up and there she saw Freddie. Horrified looks with a silent gasp as he saw her eyes and ran right to her. Embracing her in a hug, and she hugged him back, tightly. She needed him; she needed his comfort and his smile to help her.

He quickly took a seat next to her, and leaned her on his chest as he pulled his arm around her, while he circled his hand. "Sam, w-why are you, crying?" He asked, and all she did was groan more and pull herself into him. He tighten her in his arms.

_He held her in his arms that September night, the first time he ever saw her cry._

.

It finally hit November, and there both of them were, in Freddie's fire escape, where their first kiss happened. She was in his arms, and he hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. She didn't want him to let go, and she smiled as he rested his head on her.

They were both sitting on the floor, with some puffed blanket using as a base. She touched his arm, and rubbed it with her fingers as she looked at it. A tanner skin than hers, and thicker. Dark small hair, and she loved that arm, because at the moment she was in them, and she felt protected. She felt safe and wanted.

She smiled warmly and closed her eyes as he would play with the ends of her curled hair.

"What are you thinking about?" Freddie asked making Sam smile a little brighter, she continued to have her eyes close.

"About how much I love you." She said simply, and at that, he smiled and then tightens his brace on her. She giggled, smiling toothy, "Sam, that's the first time you-"

"I know," she said and sighed as she hugged his arm, "I'm so glad you're mine." She said and he kissed the top of head while she snuggled until she finally started to fall into a deep sleep. She _realized that she loved him in the fall_.

.

It's been a month since she first said that she loved him, and that made his mind up. That convinced him, that it's time. Time for them to be together and he just knows that she'll say yes. He loves her, and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, at no cost.

It was December, the cold was in, and Christmas was close by. One of Sam's favorite holidays, and he was planning on making it the best.

She was in an aqua color tight dress, with a lace under her breast, and she had her hair straight, with some extra accessories that she was not used to wearing. She smiled at him as he had his hand on hers, while they waited for the paycheck.

Sam really didn't like going to fancy restaurant because she had to get all girly and show her feminine side, and she didn't like showing her weak side much.

After paying, they parked on the park's parking lot as they were walking around. She was wearing Freddie's tux jacket, since it had gotten colder. It was late, but that just how they liked it. They were bracing hands, and at the moment all that they could hear were the soft whispers of the wind and the _clicks _of Sam's high heels. It was funny that even with that she was still shorter.

And then under a big oak tree, they made a stop. Slowly letting go of her hand, he lowered himself into one knee as she watched with curiosity. "Fred-"

He didn't even let her finish as he quickly pulled a ring out and opened the decorated box. She gasped silently and covered her mouth with her hands, and there they were: tears. She was crying, but why?

"Sam Puckett, will you marry me?" He smirked and she just stared. She blinked a couple of times, and was speechless. He could understand, it was after all, unexpected.

She swallowed hard, and at that moment, when she was about to nod, she had a second thought. _The cold came, the dark days when 'fear crept into her mind_. She slowly took a step back, and removed his jacket, and he just watched her. His smirked had disappeared, and when she handed him the jacket she kneeled down and stared at his caramel eyes.

She lead forward and kissed him, and that relaxed him. He thought she was going to say no, and she whispered, "I love you." Low enough for him to hear, and just as he was about to continue, she went on, "but, I can't. I'm s-_sorry_." the last word came out as a sob and she quickly stood up and made a run before he could reach for her.

He didn't understand and did try to catch her, but she had taken her heels off and disappeared with the wind.

"Sam?" He shouted, but she didn't reply or come back.

He then looked down, and closed the box. He sadly sighed and dragged his body toward his car. What had he done wrong?

Sam was already rushed into her house, and she ran to her room. Getting one of her mom's suitcases she packed all her clothes, and in a phone call she had found her stay and her way of running.

He proposed the _same _way her dad had proposed to her mother. She remembers the story, the way her mom would tell it when they were small.

And she remembered what that bastard did to all three. Her mother, Melanie, and her. He had hurt all three, and he didn't show up until they were about to be twenty?

She figured her way into Melanie's apartment, where her twin sister greeted her in a tight hug and she broke down in the tight brace. She was afraid, of Freddie leaving her after he got tired of her. It's been half a year since they got out of school and he want to marry her already?

It was so risky for her for her to take that chance. She didn't want to be hurt; she wouldn't be able to hold it.

.

Sam sat by the window as she saw the window being soaked by some raindrops. She saw people pass down from up the third floor, and the sky was grey. Some tried to cover themselves with newspapers and their bags, they weren't as lucky as the ones with umbrellas.

She sighed without a word and braced her knees close to her, and tilted her head as she continued to stare.

At that moment Melanie walked in, and smiled as she placed some groceries on the table and slowly walked toward Sam as the _clicks _of her heels echoed. "Sam, you should call him." Melanie smiled and took a seat next to her.

Sam looked up at her twin, and she could feel her own eyes weak. She shook her head and then looked out again. Her voice then cracked, "I bet he's celebrating his birthday with his new _girlfriend_." Her voice was dry, and her eyes felt soaked.

Melanie sighed and then shook her head, "I know he's not." She said and Sam looked at her, "How do you know?" She asked and her twin sister just smiled, and stood up, "Because I know how much you love each other; something so strong can't be forgotten in just a couple of months." And with that she walked away, going into her bedroom.

Sam didn't call him, and even tough from miles away that cretin brunette would check his phone every minute and then go to the house phone. She didn't call him.

_His birthday passed, and she didn't call._

.

Freddie sat on the fire escape, and he didn't get it, at this spot, she had told him that she loved him. Why did she run away that night? Why was she so scared? All those thoughts were making his head hurt, and he sighed.

At that moment his phone ranged, and he answered it, it was Carly.

"Hey, are you ok?" She asked, and Freddie looked out into the streets that could be seen from the eighth floor. "Yeah." He said dryly, convincing Carly that wasn't. "Freddie, come over." She said, and then hanged up.

He really needed to take his mind off the situation at the moment, and she could probably help. With Spencer there, maybe a laugh could be managed out of his lips, since he really hasn't actually laughed since she left. Maybe fake smiles, but that's all.

He took a seat next to Carly as she was already on the sofa waiting. "Hey," he said silently and she replied with a nod. "Freddie, you need to move on." She said, and he just looked down. "Sam's my best friend, and even tough I haven't heard from her in months, I love her, and I won't forget her. You loved her once, and she's always going to have a special moment in your heart, but she's only breaking you. I can't-"

"You think that she'll ever come back?" He asked, and Carly just stared. She didn't know, she couldn't answer. She looked down, maybe of she answered no, he could forget and move on.

"No." She lied. Freddie sighed, and tilted his head on the sofa, and stared at her as she begun to speak again, "_You gave her all your love and all she gave you was goodbye_."

He stood up and walked out, leaving Carly seating on the sofa. She was right, and he was afraid that he knew that.

.

Freddie hugged his _date_ (the one Carly had set for him)goodbye, as she was ready to leave. Her older brother came to pick her up, and she giggled as she said goodbye. He opened the door to the main entrance, and it was already late at night.

He smiled and when she drove off and when he was about to close the door a familiar figure caught his attention. He blinked twice and watched closely, and hit his head a couple of times wondering if his eyes were playing ticks on him.

They weren't, because at that moment he saw her. Blonde curls, a small sly smirk, and still short height with the same blue eyes. She hadn't changed, at all. "S-Sam?" He asked, and she stepped closer. She couldn't resist herself, and after a couple of seconds she attacked him with a tight hug.

He automatically replied and hugged her even tighter as her fingers lightly scratched his back. She buried her head in his chest while he took the scent of the wonderful strawberries that he remembered from one year ago.

After moments, they broke apart and she replied to his smile with her own. They walked upstairs into Freddie's apartment, still living with his mother, but she was in the hospital since she had the night shift. He was already looking for a place of his own, he just hadn't found on yet.

She walked in, and it all looked the same. Nothing had changed the same living room. Looking around, Freddie closed the door behind him after Sam walked in. She took a seat, but not like she used to a year ago, when she would let herself fall, instead she did it slowly as if being careful and just sat there.

"_I'm so glad you made time to see me_." She smiled, and Freddie took a seat next to her. He smiled and nodded, as she asked, "_How's life_?"

He sighed with a smile, "Umm... I've_ been good, busier than ever_." He lied, he honestly didn't know at the moment, and she nodded and looked down at her hands. "_Tell me how your family is? I haven't seen them in a while_." She said and he chuckled lightly.

"My mom's doing fine," he said and then sat more back, "Everyone misses you." He said and she smiled looking up at him. His smirk and she smiled more at that. She had missed that charm a lot. "Good," she joked making him chuckled, "Did you?" She asked quickly and looked down afraid to see his reaction.

"The most." He replied and she watched him from the corner of her eye. Slowly looking up, she didn't smile, but stared.

And they suddenly started to talk more, like they were friends again, about _work and the weather_, until they get deeper in the conversation and he had his_ guard up and she knew why_. Even tough he acted like nothing had hurt him from _the last time her saw her, it still burned in the back of his mine_.

_These days she hadn't been sleeping, playing back herself leaving_. She didn't know why she didn't give it try, why she didn't give him a chance. _She missed his tan skin, his sweet smile, so good to her, so right_. Simply perfect.

It took a moment for her to think what she was about to say, wondering if to or not, but she said it anyway and she quickly stood in front of him, "So _this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying_," she swallowed hard and stared into his eyes, the one's she hadn't seen for about a year "_I'm sorry for that night_."

Shocked, his eyes widen and she sighed, and then looked down. "Sam-"

"_Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine_." She said and he then stood and got closer to her. She just looked up at him, and he was speechless. Why did she return? Is she serious? Is she going to stay? Is she really going to love him and not runaway without an answer?

"Why did you leave?" He asked, and she didn't reply until five seconds later. She shook her head and took some steps back, "I-I don't know. I-I was s-scared."

"Of what? Sam, you knew I was never going to leave you."

She looked at him, she was feeling a bit weak again, "That's what my dad told my mom." She said and her eyes got wider and the blue in her eyes sparkled because of the water that was building up in her eyes.

"But I'm not your dad!" Freddie said almost screaming and got closer to her, "I was never going to leave you!"

"I know that now." She said when he was now holding her by her shoulders. He then let go and paced himself, until she spoke again.

Her voice was a bit shaky, and he was afraid that he was the cause of her fear. But he wasn't. It was fear itself that was stopping her from talking, but she managed. "_Maybe this is wishful thinking_," she said and swallowed hard as she looked at him, "_probably mindless dreaming_," she was feeling her voice getting a bit dry, "_but if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right_." She finally said, and all he did was staring.

She hugged herself, and then walked to the door, and he didn't stop her. He turned to see her as she touched the doorknob. Was he really going to let her get away again?

Before she could open the door, she spoke once more, "_I'd go back in time and change it_," she stopped for two seconds, "_but i can't... so if the chain is on your door, I understand_."

"Sam... I..."

For the last seconds that she was in there, she said, "_I go back to December all the time_."

And with that she opened the door and walked out, and Freddie watched her go. Again. He groaned, and he just couldn't. No matter how much pained she had caused him for about a year, he couldn't let her run off again.

He did what he should've done the last time, instead of just screaming her name, he ran after her.

There she was in the elevator, the doors barely opening. He raced himself and got inside, and at that moment he attacked her lips with his own.

Her eyes widen, and he pinned her in the elevator wall with his hands on her waist as she placed her hands on his neck. How she had missed his lips. So soft, so... so him.

Gasping for air he set his head on her neck, and with a smirk he pulled her into a hug, "I won't let you run away this time." He said and she hugged him tighter, "I love you." She said, and he pulled her into another kiss, "I love you, too."

**Hope you all enjoyed(: Please review! **


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